Emotions...

The last few weeks after graduation have been extremely low and emotional. So much pain and unhappiness has happened. I figured that after graduation, things would be mighty dandy. That things would be stress free, boy was I wrong. I've been an emotional wreck. I've felt the loneliest I have ever felt and this I do not wish this on anyone. Because loneliness can cause havoc to the heart. Any tragedy, accompanied with family, is always more bearable. Because in the last few weeks, I've felt everything to be unbearable and lonely. So many nights I wished that I could be held by my mother, which I no longer have. I miss her presence and love more than ever. The pain at times was unbearable. Today as I am writing this, I feel less pain stricken, I guess. I have not fully recovered, and the pain still stings. For my own privacy, I'd rather not disclose details, but mainly explain how these events have made me feel over the last few weeks. Because for about a month now, I've never felt so vulnerable and incapable to cope with my feelings. Because the rational being that I am, I realize that I cannot continue to feel this way for any longer. I am my own self and I need to make good choices that will bring forth gain to my esteem. At times, I've felt that I have not been in control of myself and I have felt that my emotions have taken the reign over most of my life. This must come to an end. It cannot continue to cause havoc or pain the way it has for the last few weeks....I must find that summer, in the midst of winter....