bites

This is my weekend off and I am working today (sat) because they scheduled me. Ughhh, they always ruin my three day weekend. I can never freakin enjoy three days off in a row. sicknessssssss.

poop, literally.

Nothing is worse than having 2 patients getting Kayexalate the same night, at the same time. Eeeeek. Kthxbye.

yours truly,
B.

Guitar Bliss

My boyfriend bought me the new guitar hero for my nintendo DS! I'm super excited. I love it. It's a blast. After a hard night of work, some wiggling of the fingers is soothing. I love my pink nintendo DS! <333 I told him we should get TDR (Dance Revolution). That would totally be a workout, and it might be entertaining to see how much we can dance after a couple of drinks. Guitar Hero is also funnier and funnier and quite difficult as you ingest ETOH. HA HA HA. I'm also dying for the second season of Ugly Betty to release. I love the little gay brother. He is too funny. America Ferrera is totally hotttt right now. She's such a cute actress. I loved her in "Real Women Have Curves". Anywho, it's releasing in September. For my nights off, We've been playing Poker, Texas Hold'em. I'm beginning to understand the game alot better and I've become a better liar/bluffer. It's quite exhilirating. I can see why people are so into it. I've beaten my boyfriend a couple of times already. Anywho Toodles.

Peaceful End

This is my second night at work this weekend. I lost sleep and its so frustrating. I went to bed at about 830 am this morning and I woke up around 130 pm. I couldn't fall asleep anymore. It totally bites. Now I'm here yawning like an insomniac. My mom seems weaker and sicker today. It's very hard to see her like that. It pains me. And then it makes me wonder if Hospice was indeed the best choice for her. She is suffering so much, and I don't want to see her go through that anymore. So maybe hospice was the best for her. I can see the suffering in her eyes. Hospice keeps her comfortable with pain medication, but her soul looks tired. At this point, this isn't about me anymore. It's about her. If death will stop her suffering, well so be it. Being a nurse, has made me realize that there is far more beyond death. Far more than just pain from the void the person leaves behind, but the relief of suffering from that individual. The last thing I want to remember is my mother's face in anguish/misery. Ive whispered it in her ear that if she feels she needs to go, for her not to worry about me. Sometimes ppl won't let go when they feel that people around them can't let go. I've seen that many times at the hospital where i work. I can't be selfish and just ignore my mother's pain. I know the ending to this story will not be happy, but I'm at least hoping for a peaceful one. Toodles...

Ughh

It's 0354 am and I'm exhausted. Im at work at this time, and I wish I could be laying in bed, warm with no worries. Soon enough though. A warm muffin, with some orange juice would be great for breakfast, but I'm totally counting calories and that isn't included in my meal plan. I'm not trying to make myself sound all anorexic, but I do need to lose a couple lbs here and there. Working graveyard has added some extra mushrooms around my waist area which I repeat are NOT cute. Ughhh. (my bfriend says they are)! Graveyard doesn't make dieting easier either. But on a lighter and more positive note, I bought a new car today! FFFF-yeah. It's a black nissan altima. 4-cylinder. 2008. GGGGGreat on gas. I'm super excited. Hope all goes well with payments. Anywho, got to finish up my work. I'm out in 3 more hrs. Peace.love.muffins.